The problem with society is we have generations of women who’ve grown to accept abuse from men. This stems back to WW11 when women began entering the workforce due to a demand in labor. Prior to this, the pre-war ideas encapsulated the idea that women were to stay home to raise children, while catering to their husband. An unwed woman was thought to be a soiled woman, for her identity was wrapped up in a man. Prior to WW11 if a woman wasn’t married she wasn’t “taken care of,” due to a woman’s inability to work.
At this point, women were viewed as a threat, heaven forbid their egos be damaged by a woman earning an income. I learned from a young age that money= freedom. In order to be independent, women had to work or risk losing themselves in the process. Not all women chose to work however, many were eager to return to domestic duties. Those that continued to work however faced unequal pay and scrutiny from society.
Money is also used as a form of control. When women choose to establish a work life balance, they are able to establish their own freedom and independence. The thing about marriage and pre-war “gender roles,” is the power and control it allowed men to have over women. Even advertising was geared towards pleasing a man in order to “keep” their husband’s happy. God forbid any man worried about keeping a woman, they were disposable back then, because men had all the power.
Fast forward to the 21st Century and we have a generation genders on equal playing fields. In fact, one might argue it’s yet again unequal because women are taking on both domestic and working roles to care for children. Marriages don’t last, affairs have become common place and women establishing financial security has become more important than ever. When the relationship ends, women need to have something to fall back on, if not for herself but for her children. That’s where the generation gap fails.
Women born in the pre-war times (1940s) have passed on the idea to their children of how to act in society. Men born in this time frame also maintain the idea of misogyny. Raising boys who treat women like they can be discarded sets them up for failure. Likewise, raising women to accept abuse is simply unacceptable. Women shouldn’t have to lie for men. They also shouldn’t have to put up with abuse.
It shouldn’t take a #MeToo movement to change the way women are being treated in the workplace, yet here we are. Just because it was acceptable back then, doesn’t make it right. The only reason that kind of behavior was ever acceptable is because women were conditioned to accept it. To stay silent, or risk losing it all. Now there are consequences for men’s actions and women are able to fight for equal pay.
The reason for writing this? Because we need to educate past generations that progress has been made and just because it was done back then doesn’t make it right. Putting up with any kind of abuse isn’t ok. Raising your children the way you were raised isn’t always the best choice because sometimes things need to change. Women shouldn’t have to lie for the person they are in a relationship with. They shouldn’t feel guilt tripped for staying home with the children while the man is off working.
If any of this rings true I’ve got news for you. It’s 2021. Go change your life. Be financially free from anyone you depend on financially. Educate the older generations on abusive behavior that simply can’t be tolerated today.
Above all, don’t risk your happiness for a title. No one cares if you are a single or divorced anymore. It’s better to be single paving your own way then to put up with abuse just so you’ll stay and be “taken care off.”
No sis, hold your own. Straighten your crown and walk away.
-You’re goddess guru